WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize