what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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