try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize