Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
