I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
