my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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