I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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