insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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