it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
