Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
