If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize