would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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