i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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