Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
