Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have fence marks all over my body
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
