What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
