Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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