do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
