your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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