Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
