I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
