I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
