Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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