You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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