You really coming over, don't trick.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize