absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
