no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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