So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
