I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
