I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
