I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
