thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
