if you like me you must not know who I am
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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