i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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