Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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