He is an equal opportunity slut.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
