He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
