We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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