would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I want is dick and wine.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
