i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
