So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize