Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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