So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize