During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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