This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
