We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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