Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
