That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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