where am i from again
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
