Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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