Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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