Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
