porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
