sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
vagina is talking i cant
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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