There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
