The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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