Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
