i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
