the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think my moral compass just broke
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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