Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
