I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
