I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize