Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
