I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
this will be a night to untag.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
