WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
