Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
