so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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