Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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