hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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