I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
